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Cities in New York State If They Were Actually High School Students

Different angle of distance signage on NY 12B in Hamilton
Eric Meier/TSM

What traits would these New York State cities have if they were compared to high school students?


Albany somehow got elected class president and is a nice kid but comes from a really messed up family.


The younger child of a prominent family, Buffalo’s big brother, NYC, got all the attention.


Likes playing with illegal fireworks. They have a friend (Pennsylvania) who hooks them up.


Corning is the artsy girl who’s always doodling in her notebooks.


The scrawny kid who got picked on in middle school. By the time he got to high school, Elmira started wearing a trench coat everyday.

The Hamptons

Don’t even try – so far out of your league.


Totally smart. Everyone knew even as a freshman that Ithaca would be valedictorian.


The farm kid. They’ve got to head home at lunch to tend to the cows.

Niagara Falls

The girl who could win a pageant but has really bad answers to the interview questions – a natural beauty, but there’s not much else there.

Penn Yan

Penn Yan is always hosting parties when their parents are out of town for the weekend. The house is stocked with wine, and not Boone’s Farm either, we’re talking about the good stuff.


Olean sits in the back of every class and even though you’re in a lot of the same classes, you’ve never heard them speak.


Has a boyfriend in another school (Canada) and spends all her time with Canada and his friends.


Editor of the school newspaper, always has a camera draped over their neck taking pictures.


Hangs out with Olean. Like all the time.

Saratoga Springs

Sara smells not too faintly of horse and she’s pretty unapproachable.


The big time football QB who scored a college scholarship – but it’s to a last-place team.

Tupper Lake

Who drives an Arctic Cat to school? In May? Tupper Lake does. So does their cousin Saranac Lake.


Utica started working in their parents’ Italian restaurant at 14.


The boy who joined ROTC or the girl who is dating the guy who graduated last year and then enlisted in the army.

Watkins Glen

He’s got the most tricked-out car in the school parking lot. He’s also got the most speeding tickets.


Obviously a hippie. Is that patchouli?


Hangs out with the popular kids but isn’t really part of their group.

Next: Watch 'How to Read a New York Highway Little Green Sign'

[Inspired by ‘The 50 States if They Were High School Students‘]

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