Dumbest Things I’ve Overheard at a Restaurant
I don't consider myself to have anger problems, but after tonight I may have to reconsider it. After Chili-Palooza I figured I'd grab some dinner with my sister and her boyfriend. Of course from the luck of the draw, there is only a small handful of restaurants open in Rome after 11pm. So we chose Denny's. And our story begins.
While we were walking to our table our waitress put us behind one of the largest groups in the diner. They had the appearance of that one obnoxious group. Every time you go out to eat you have the potential to run into that one group of annoying people, and lucky for you, tonight was my night to run into them. Here's the top five things I remember them talking about that wasn't any of the following: funny, witty, intelligent, entertaining, factual, well thought out, or something I should need to know for the survival of my every day to day life.
I don't know about you, but when I'm out with my friends, I love entertaining the group. As we sat down, one of the girls must have had the same mindset as I do. She was using her Donald Duck voice. Yes, at 11:30 at night, in Rome New York, we got the pleasure of hearing the Donald. It's one thing if it was something quick that ended, she continued this voice for a matter of minutes. She was just talking like Donald Duck, nothing entertaining, nothing interesting, nothing fun. Donald Duck was in Central New York tonight.
I sympathize with anyone that orders an item at a restaurant, and gets the wrong order. It sucks, it stinks, it's horrible. But, when you order something that is clearly shown with photographs on three (3), count em folks, THREE different menus, then you shouldn't be mad at the waitress. If you think I'm kidding about the menus, I'm not. You get the main menu with all the food and drinks. At the dessert page there is a picture of a Strawberry milkshake with whipped cream on it. On the “deal” menu where you can order items for $2, $4, $6, and $8, there is a back page with pictures of a Strawberry milkshake with whipped cream on it. On the table, next to the napkins, there is a menu with pictures of NOTHING BUT milkshakes, the one page has a dedicated chapter for strawberry milkshakes with whipped cream. So when you ordered this milkshake, that was shown three different times, you shouldn't act shocked that it had whipped cream on it.
Tis' the season of pumpkins, paranormal investigations, candy, and of course haunted houses. We live in a day and age of amazing technology and cool gadgets. Holidays are forever changed. Inside haunted houses, someone thought it would be a good idea to put microphones to record screams and play that sound back on speakers outside the haunted house. However, in Central New York that technology isn't always available at “Mom and Pap” haunted houses. Sometimes they play CD's with prerecorded screams. The group behind me clearly doesn't have that knowledge. They went inside the haunted house and did fake screams, so people outside would think they were truly frightened. They were disappointed when no one heard those screams. Could you imagine watching people do fake screams? What total tools.
Now the godfather of the group, the big boy of the table, the man legend and myth rolled into one, wanted to share one of his classic stories. Let me re-tell this tale: “So we were approaching his house and we were shocked that he had these “Mickey Mouse” barbed wire fences. It was so weird, I've never seen it before. So we opened the gate and these two little dogs came up to us and went “BARKBARKBARK”. So we decided to play with his dogs. You know, I threw a soccer ball to one, tossed a rope to the other. Then I noticed the one dog started to like hump a red pillow, and I went “Fred, your dog is pretty ennnnergetic right?” he was like “yea hes nuts”. So we laughed it off you know, then went and took the dogs to a Jack In A Box. Guess this kind of stuff only happens in Southern California!” Clearly it does. Fact, my sister just spent two weeks in Southern California and none of that happened, including a trip to Jack In A Box.
I can honestly say I never knew people could have food allergies with Gluten until I worked with my friend Jesse Jordan. She suffers from Celiac's Disease, which means she is unable to eat Gluten. Now I could understand if someone like that was afraid of Gluten, but for anyone else, it's kind of silly. The Godfather decided to add more to the haunted house story, and share he's afraid of foods that have “extra gluten”. I don't cook much, but is that even possible? According to Yahoo answers, it isn't.