You open up Facebook to see your friends' pictures and videos of cats, but there it all is: Trump is the best President the United States has ever seen. No, Trump is the absolute worst. But, Obama! But her emails!

Central New Yorkers are seeing it all over social media.

Friends are posting political memes, fact-checks, and opinion pieces. You watch people you've known for years, people you work with and your mother's cousin's boyfriend battle it out in the comments, posting inches-long essays on the merits or stupidity of removing Confederate monuments. You start to feel your fingers getting itchy.

As anyone knows, the most important part of a Facebook debate is WINNING. You need to convince someone with a different point of view that they are completely wrong, and probably racist or a violent libtard or a moron. One of those is definitely correct.

So what's the secret? How do you win a Facebook argument every single time? There are three fool-proof things you can do that guarantee a moral and absolute victory over your Facebook friend opponent.

How To Win Any Facebook Argument Every Time

1. Keep scrolling. When was the last time you actually changed someone's mind with a Facebook comment? I'll tell you: never. If something really makes you so angry that you feel a 250-word comment coming on...keep moving. Nothing good is coming from that.

2. Don't be a douche. America was founded on the principle of a free and open exchange of ideas. You don't agree with someone? Great. You don't agree and think the solution is to name-call and accuse? Look in the mirror: you're the problem.

3. Keep watching kitten and puppy videos. Facebook is getting to be a pretty depressing place. The news lately hasn't been great. People are very divided over politics. We can all agree on one thing: kittens and puppies are cute. Focus on what unites us, people.

Focus on what unites us. 


 

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