Heinz combined ketchup and mayo into a single product called mayochup, and I think our prayers have been answered.

Just imagine: you're standing in line at Voss. You hand back your little magnetic letter and they hand you an exquisitely greasy bacon cheeseburger (and a thick chocolate shake - but that's another story). Onto that burger you squeeze the best of all condiments: Mayochup. One bite, and you know all is right with the world.

Let's just cover the obvious right off the bat: yes, mayochup is just some relish away from Thousand Island dressing (which is already available in a squeeze bottle, btw) and you could just mix up your own ketchup and mayo combo...but now you don't have to.

If the Big Mac is any proof (and yes, the Big Mac is) that bottle contains straight-up condiment magic. Everyone knows the Big Mac is just a burger without the special sauce. You know what makes the sauce special? The combination. The consistently distributed ratio of ketchup to mayo. You COULD just squirt some ketchup and smear some mayo on your burger, but then you'd get bites that were more ketchup, and some that were more mayo. Consistency is what creates burger joy. It's what makes burger magic.

That Mayochup bottle contains MAGIC people. I'll just say it. 

Maybe you don't share my deep and abiding love for mayonnaise. That's okay. Maybe you're generally anti-ketchup ever since you had a toddler who refused to eat anything - from cake to steak - without copious amounts of said condiment. Understandable. Mayochup gives you the chance to put all those bad feelings behind you - in one simple squirt.

Try it, Central New York. You won't regret it. 

BONUS VIDEO (And possibly the best cheeseburger you'll ever have):