One Of The Worst Movies Ever Made- Kazaam
1996 was such a great year for movies. We enjoyed Independence Day, Twister, and Jerry Maguire. In the garden of these great classics grew a lemon. That lemon was in the form of Shaquille O’Neal as Kazaam a magic genie.
Here’s a recap of this gem from 1996:
The film opens with a big wrecking ball destroying an abandoned building. Inside the building a magic lamp with a genie inside fell on a boom box. The genie decides to make residence inside the boom box from there on in. Why not right? Which home would you choose: Classy Genie Lamp with thousands of years of history orrrrrrrrr Crappy 1993 Boom Box? I’d choose boom box every time.
Meanwhile, when this boom box shuffle is taking place, a schoolboy named Max is chased down by a group of bullies through the city. Max is eventually chased into the abandoned building, where he discovers the boombox and accidentally unleashes the genie inside. The genie introduces himself as Kazaam and starts to demonstrate his powers. Kazaam begins to show off to a little kid. What genie doesn’t want to prove himself to a little kid?
Through the next part of the movie it is revealed that Max’s mother lied to him about his real father’s whereabouts, and that he is actually located in the city. Max set out to search for his father, Kazaam pesters Max into making a wish. Does this genie not have patience? What else does he have to do? Live in a boom box?
Kazaam then decides to have a bike race with Max through Max’s hideout, during which Kazaam shows off his powers some more. Kazaam uses this trick to convince Max to make his first wish, which consists of junk food raining from the sky. While eating all of this, Max suddenly realizes that he owns Kazaam until he makes his last two wishes. Max wants to help his father. So Max and Kazaam go out to see Max’s father again. After getting past an intimidating bodyguard, Max is introduced by his father to the other employees of the agency and invited to a nightclub. The owner of the nightclub, Malik, realizes Kazaam is a genie. Must be a six sense for him to pick up on this…
Max confesses to Kazaam that he and his father aren’t really connecting and needs help. Kazaam attempts to shirk the issue and ignore it with some rapping. Why not? A little boy needs help so we solve the problem with rapping. Anyways, Max attempts to wish for his father and mother to fall back in love, but Kazaam cannot grant this wish and isn’t free to grant these type of wishes.
This is where the movie gets really tricky so pay close attention: Kazaam receives a record deal as a professional rapper and is unable to help Max out when Max goes to him for help. Max is eventually kidnapped by Malik and Malik takes possession of Kazaam’s boom box. Malik knew who Kazaam truly was. After pushing Max down an elevator shaft, Malik summons Kazaam in the hopes that he will do his bidding. While Kazaam is initially powerless against his master, he soon breaks free from his oppression and defeats Malik and his minions.
So here comes the classic part of the movie: Kazaam transforms Malik into a basketball and then slam dunks him into a garbage disposal. Why not have a basketball legend turn a villain into a orange ball then dunk him? Again, let’s only think of ourselves right Kazaam? Eventually, Kazaam finds Max’s lifeless body and wishes that he could have granted Max’s wish to give his father a second chance at life. Then, in his sorrow, Kazaam pulls Max out of harm’s way and Max is eventually carried out of the building. Max’s father then shows up and tells him that he hopes to rekindle the bonding with his son, before he takes off with authorities.
Wait what? How did this movie go from candy bars to rapping genies to elevator shafts? It makes zero sense. It truly doesn’t! It’s considered one of the Worst films ever made. Shaquille O’Neal’s performance in the film was considered poor and to date has been referenced in a number of movies, mainly either criticizing his acting.
So here are our lesson boys and girls: Kazaam was the worst genie ever. Instead of helping his friend out, he wanted to rap. How do genies even know about rap? But nonetheless, Kazaam only thinks of himself and his rapping career. Instead of helping out a poor boy, he only thinks of himself and his crappy boom box.
If anyone would like to point out of Kazaam actually did good, please prove me wrong.