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CafeMom List Inspired Me – Only Kids Can Get Away With These ‘Crimes’

bad kids
Mark Richards TSM

My goodness, our son is turning five years of age in just a few days. When we think back on all the things this kid has done, and gotten away with, we’re amazed. If adults tried to pull some of these stunts, we’d be arrested for sure. Here are 10 crimes only a kid can get away with.

I found this top 10 list on The Stir about how many things can you think of that your kid does every day that would get us adults in big trouble? It turns out I can relate to just about every single incident on their list. Read their list and then check out how my real life experiences stack up.

Original CafeMom List


1) Assault – Okay, Dylan’s big brother Mark does play fight with his much younger and smaller ‘bro’ but when Dylan gets to punching, he really whales on him…hard ! At our age, you’re going to jail.
2) Attempted murder – When I was little, my brother held my head under water and if it wasn’t for our mom yelling “Knock it off” I’d be dead.
3) Urinating in public -  Yeah, I’ll take the bad parenting rap on this one as I’ve encouraged Dylan to ‘pee on a tree’.
4) Vandalism – I recall the story my buddy told about his son who was hiding on the staircase saying to his mom and dad, “don’t look, don’t come here”. After a few minutes when they did look, he had written all aver the wall with permanent markers. A new paint job was required.
5) Public indecency – Dylan has no problem stripping down in the back yard or in the house. On the other hand, if I did that…
6) Destruction of property -  I can’t tell you how many times Dylan’s toys have been deliberately broken by his playmates and likewise.
7) Larceny – How many times have you given your 3 year old a toy to play with while shopping and accidentally left the store without paying for it? I plead the 5th.
8) Child Abuse - Hey, they can bite the other kid on the playground, why can’t we?
9) Stalking – mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy…need I say more?
10) Perjury – With chocolate smeared all over their face, they can look at you right in the eyes and say, ‘not me’.

Feel free to add to the list in comments.

[CafeMom/The Stir]

Next: Shocking Things Some Parents Teach Kids

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