Valentine’s Day Blues: 5 Signs That Your Marriage Or Relationship Is On The Rocks
A new study says after 3 1/2 years of being together, these 5 things happen to a couple and before they know it, the romance is pretty much out the door. There are plenty of other signs too, but are these are some of the more subtle silent killers. But don’t fret, if this sounds like you, I’ve got some good news too!
- You don’t make an effort to eat dinner together.
- You go to bed at different times.
- You go out with friends more than each other.
- You stop trying to look good for each other. That means women don’t worry about wearing make-up or nice underwear . . . and men wear sweatpants.
- Men don’t worry about closing the door when they go to the bathroom.
Of course if you’re arguing a lot or find other people more attractive than your partner, these are more obvious warning signs. The surprising thing about this study is that two-thirds of people that admitted having these problems also felt that their marriage was still very strong. Even more surprising is that the vast majority (90%) said they do these things because they are comfortable with their partner and that taking them for granted was just a normal part of relationship!
“Bad habits begin to creep into the relationship, such as breaking wind in front of each other, showering less, women forgetting to shave their legs, not closing the bathroom door when using the toilet and leaving the toilet seat up. Far from those bad habits being a sign that the relationship’s on the rocks, it looks as though taking each other for granted can be a sign of security and comfort, and you don’t need the reassurance of saying ‘I love you’ all the time.”
So the very thing that makes you comfortable can also spell your relationship’s demise. Wow. So how do you win at this game? I’m no expert and am guilty of just about everything listed in this article and more (and have the scars to prove it as do the women that I learned these hard lessons on), but it seems to me that it takes more effort to keep a relationship going after the honeymoon phase and if you keep looking at your partner as being more awesome than the day you met them and keep pursuing them like you did when they weren’t ‘yours’, the exact opposite will happen. From my experience, thinking it will never happen to you is the first step down the road to making it happen. But if you think realistically, it CAN happen to you and WILL happen unless you find ways to reverse signs like the five ones above before they happen. So what if this is you?
Go on date nights once a week. Go to bed together and spend time talking while under the sheets (not just the other thing), put the phones and laptops on their chargers for tomorrow. Put your partner as number one socially, whether they’re out with you or not. And don’t forget to not let yourself go in your appearance around your mate, yes they should still love you anyway, but don’t play with that fire. Personality is key, but taking care of yourself on top of that is a heavy one-two punch to the marriage doldrums. Attraction on all levels is extremely powerful and if you don’t feel attractive or attracted to your mate, you’re already way down the road to splitting up or just being miserable.