Which Fast Food Mascot Would Make The Best Mayor of Utica?

At first glance, there's not much connection between fast food and politics, but consider this: wouldn't you want Utica led by someone who is all about consistency, keeping prices (aka taxes) low, and is conveniently available nearly 24 hours a day? If they're a little bit salty, hey, that's okay too.

Which Fast Food Mascot Would Make The Best Mayor of Utica?

No offense to the current Mayor, but McDonald's Mayor McCheese clearly knows how to keep people satisfied. If you've served billions of people, clearly you're doing something right. Of course, McCheese has been around since 1971. A lot has changed since then, and let's face it - I think we know where a guy who's been Mayor for 46 years stands on term limits.

If we're looking for someone to lead Utica into the future, consider Wendy. She's younger, and, the pigtail thing is so classic, it's practically hipster. Plus, she'd have the distinction of being Utica's first female Mayor. The younger generation is just right to take the lead on Nano Utica. But maybe she wouldn't be able to connect to Utica's older population - even with her senior discount.

How about Colonel Sanders? Granted, a former southern plantation owner might not be the right guy to lead a city as diverse as Utica but fried chicken is the fast food underdog - kinda like Utica in New York state- and he's done pretty well. On the other hand, he might not be able to adjust to the climate.

What about Burger King? So there's the whole monarchy thing. But think of the money and red tape you'd save by eliminating the whole Common Council and most of the laws and just relying on the whims of a King. Okay - maybe not.

Maybe the mistake is sticking with human(oid) mayors. Utica can really stand out with a four-legged mayor. The Taco Bell chihuahua might be just the mayor Utica has been looking for. As soon as we confirm whether he's officially a citizen (and therefore eligible to be elected), Utica can finally have a mayor everyone likes. I hear he's pretty indifferent about the downtown hospital, but if the debate gets too heated, he may run for the border.

Personally, I'm voting for Clara - she technically isn't a mascot - but I think she speaks for all of Utica when she asks "where's the beef?"

What do you think? Which one of these mascots would make the best Mayor of Utica?

(If you're looking to support Mayor McCheese, you can get his campaign poster at etsy.com.)