Ryan Anderson is a humorist and writer with a degree in journalism and philosophy that just sits in a box in his attic. You can read more of his musings here: http://www.twitter.com/kolchak
Ryan Anderson

‘Teen Mom’ Jenelle Evans Was Arrested For Heroin Possession
Being an MTV 'Teen Mom' is pretty competitive these days. It's a constant struggle between putting food in the mouths of children and upstaging other teen moms.
So, with Farrah Abraham shopping porn around, the natural move for any other teen mom would be to attack their spouse and possess enough heroin to murder a pack of elephants. Enter Jenelle Evans.
![Amy Poehler Talks About Boston + Makes You Want to Hug Her Even More [VIDEO]](http://townsquare.media/site/555/files/2013/04/Amy.jpg?w=980&q=75)
Amy Poehler Talks About Boston + Makes You Want to Hug Her Even More [VIDEO]
This week on Amy Poehler's web series 'Ask Amy,' a young woman emailed about "pointless" videos on the internet and Amy gave a thought-provoking and poignant answer about the way we take in images around us.
![3 Doors Down Bassist Todd Harnell Charged With Vehicular Homicide After Car Crash [MUGSHOT]](http://townsquare.media/site/555/files/2013/04/todd.jpg?w=980&q=75)
3 Doors Down Bassist Todd Harnell Charged With Vehicular Homicide After Car Crash [MUGSHOT]
Robert Todd Harrell, the 41-year-old bassist for 3 Doors Down, was charged with vehicular homicide after a fatal crash in Nashville on Friday, April 19.
![Watching Amanda Bynes Get Ready to Go Out Is Like Looking Into the Ark of the Covenant [VIDEO]](http://townsquare.media/site/555/files/2013/04/twerk.jpg?w=980&q=75)
Watching Amanda Bynes Get Ready to Go Out Is Like Looking Into the Ark of the Covenant [VIDEO]
The last time we joined Amanda Bynes, she was threatening to sue everyone on Earth for using unflattering photos of her. She was also calling Perez Hilton a fatty, because maturity.
Now, she's posted a video of herself getting herself ready for a long night of twerking. And it's just as terrifying as you'd imagine.

The One Where the Heavily-Rumored ‘Friends’ Reunion Isn’t Happening
Those rumors about an impending 'Friends' reunion coming to NBC in 2014? They could not be more wrong. They could try, but they would not be successful.
![Molly Ringwald Covers ‘The Breakfast Club’ Theme on Her Debut Jazz Album [AUDIO]](http://townsquare.media/site/555/files/2013/04/mollyringwald.jpg?w=980&q=75)
Molly Ringwald Covers ‘The Breakfast Club’ Theme on Her Debut Jazz Album [AUDIO]
'The Breakfast Club' princess Claire Standish may be a snob, but she's not without her talents. This is evidenced by portrayer Molly Ringwald's new jazz album, on which she tackles 'Don't You (Forget About Me),' originally recorded by Simple Minds in 1985 for the cult-classic coming-of-age movie.

Halle Berry Wants Congress to Keep People From Photographing Her Kid
When it comes to her 5-year-old daughter, Halle Berry can be pretty protective. After a failing bid last year to move to France with her child Nahla (where laws about photographing the children of celebrities are much more stringent), Berry now plans to push US lawmakers to fix the problem for her.
![Olivier Martinez May Have Kicked a Photographer While Halle Berry Screamed Stuff [VIDEO]](http://townsquare.media/site/555/files/2013/04/berry.jpg?w=980&q=75)
Olivier Martinez May Have Kicked a Photographer While Halle Berry Screamed Stuff [VIDEO]
Halle Berry, her young daughter Nahla and beau Olivier Martinez were leaving LAX on Monday, April 1, when - shocker - they were met by a crowd of foaming-at-the-mouth paparazzi.
And Berry, who dislikes her kid's photo being taken so much that she wants to move to France to avoid it, pretty much came unglued.

Amanda Bynes Has No Patience for Bourgeois Courts. Oh, and She’s a Redhead Now.
While Amanda Bynes was busy formulating a crack legal team to sue Perez Hilton and turning her face different hues of blue, she seems to have forgotten that she was due in court today for a hearing about her suspended license.

Get the Popcorn: Lindsay Lohan Is Booked on David Letterman Next Week
After a six-year dry spell, Lindsay Lohan will end an apparent Letterman prohibition by appearing on 'The Late Show with David Letterman' on Tuesday, Apr. 9.
![Jay Leno + Jimmy Fallon Clear The Air With ‘Tonight Show’ Duet [VIDEO]](http://townsquare.media/site/555/files/2013/04/jimmy.jpg?w=980&q=75)
Jay Leno + Jimmy Fallon Clear The Air With ‘Tonight Show’ Duet [VIDEO]
'Tonight Show' host Jay Leno joined forces with his possible replacement -- 'Late Night' host Jimmy Fallon -- for a parody of 'Tonight' from 'West Side Story.'

Dionne Warwick Declares Bankruptcy With a $10 Million Tax Debt
Looks like crooner Dionne Warwick won't be able to 'Walk on By' the IRS. The songstress has filed for bankruptcy, claiming she has $25,000 in assets but owes $10.2 million to Uncle Sam.
You'd think Miss Cleo would've warned her about this.