What would Ernest Hemingway be like if he didn't own as many cats and once starred in a 'Parent Trap' remake? We don't know. So instead, Lindsay Lohan will have to suffice.
As she prepares for a 90-day rehab stint beginning on Thursday, May 2, Linds is already looking ahead and negotiating a deal to blog about the experience after she's discharged.
After a six-year dry spell, Lindsay Lohan will end an apparent Letterman prohibition by appearing on 'The Late Show with David Letterman' on Tuesday, Apr. 9.
When Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90-days of lockdown rehab in New York as punishment for lying to the cops, it was assumed that lockdown rehab, you know, exists.
But as it turns out? Eh, not so much.
Lindsay Lohan had an incompetent attorney in Mark Heller (though he still managed to get her out of jail free -- well, almost free). If you're wondering why she chose him over her longstanding, perfect-record lawyer Shawn Holley, the answer may be getting clearer: She's in business with Heller's son.
And considering her acting career is apparently toast, she needs whatever paychecks she can get.
Habitual courtroom participant Lindsay Lohan finally took a plea deal that will send her to 90 days of lockdown rehab instead of the jail time she'd probably have gotten for lying to the police.
There's just one problem: New York, where Lindsay is expected to spend her three months in rehab, has no such thing as lockdown facilities. Which means LiLo could be going to jail after all. (Not that it's likely, but humor us here.)
Cameras caught up with Lindsay Lohan's former attorney -- the competent one -- Shawn Holley, and she was pretty amused by the hot mess that was Lohan's trial with Mark Heller.
We all -- well, those of us who are nearing AARP status or are way into retro -- remember the shiny, happy Belinda Carlisle of the Go-Go's and their ‘We Got the Beat’ genre of layered, fluorescent pop candy. So it might surprise you to hear that B-Carl admits, without irony, that she may have been the Lindsay Lohan of her time.
So where are the pics of her stumbling around and getting into car accidents?
Ohhhh. Wait. It was the '80s. Back when we didn’t have smartphones and celebrities still had a little mystery to them.
A tired, pale and raspy Lindsay Lohan finally showed up in an L.A. court room today, March 18, about 45 minutes late to her trial for lying to the police in that car accident case from 2011. (As previously reported, she missed multiple flights before finally hopping a private jet to make it to the hearing.)
The bottom line: She finally wised up and took a plea deal.
Lindsay Lohan has once again shown her priorities are in serious need of a realignment -- as her Monday morning date with a Los Angeles judge loomed, she bailed on two flights from New York this weekend then spent Sunday night in a panic trying to arrange transportation.
Lindsay Lohan could potentially avoid her March 18 trial date if she accepts a plea deal from the prosecution for lying to the cops, but she still refuses to take any offer that ends in either jail time or rehab.
Mostly because she's waiting for the plea that ends in ice cream and hugs -- but the prosecution seems set in making sure Lindsay is locked up somehow.
While Lindsay Lohan has shown in the past she has no qualms about using Charlie Sheen for a payday when she needs quick cash, apparently she doesn't like it he teams up with the paparazzi to talk about her.
Despite attorney Mark Heller's best efforts, Lindsay Lohan refuses to accept a plea bargain in that case where she supposedly lied to the cops. This will end well.
