Wouldn't it be great if we could issue our own tickets? So, when you see someone doing something stupid, you would issue a 'Citizen's Ticket.'

It sounds too good to be true, but in Washington DC, a councilperson is suggesting just that: neighbors could issue each other tickets just by using a cell phone.


Wouldn't it be great if you could issue a ticket to the guy (or gal) that speeds up to ahead of you as Route 5 (or Genesee Street) turns to a single lane, only to proceed to drive 5 MPH? Yes. Yes it would.

9 Things We Should Be Able To Give Tickets For

  1. Being the jerk that drives all the way down the open lane as everyone is merging for construction just to force your way in at the front. TICKET FOR YOU!
  2. Talking loudly on your cell phone at a restaurant or the doctor's office. No one wants to hear about your rash or that chick you met last night. Fine is doubled if you're on speaker phone.
  3. Sweating all over the machine at the gym, and then just walking away. No. No one wants to sit in your germ soup.
  4. Parking like a jerk. If your car is so special that it requires two parking spaces to feel safe, stay home.
  5. Leaving the empty donut box in the break room after you've eaten the last one. It feels pretty bad to have your hopes dashed when you think you're gonna have a yummy plain glazed...only to find crumbs in the Dunkin' box.
  6. Throwing fast food wrappers or other garbage out of your car. I realize this is something you can get an ACTUAL ticket for - but there never seems to be an officer around for this type of offense.
  7. Leaving your shopping cart in front of your car when you're done shopping. We'll cut you a break if you really aren't well enough to walk it back - other than that: TICKET!
  8. Tearing the articles and recipes out of the magazines at the doctor's office. TAKE A PICTURE. I know, them thar cell phones have all the fancy technology now.
  9. Being a toolbag to wait staff or a cashier. They don't make the rules, and if you need to make yourself feel special by being a jerk to someone just doing their job, we'll write that ticket with glee.

I know we're definitely missing some things. What would you add to this list? Email me at beth@lite987.com or text, call, or leave a voice message on our app!

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