Chuck E. Cheese Has (GASP) …Beer?!?

My youngest daughter turned six today and just guess where her party was? Yup, Chuck E. Cheese, or as I call it the “Crazy-zombie-kid-obstacle-course-from-hell!” Usually I can be found crying in the corner from sensory overload, but that was until I discovered this:

Yup, those aren’t Mountain Dew taps unless it’s somebody’s idea of a joke, but just in case you think it is, here’s more proof:

And wine too?!? Man, I love this place now! But really, that’s the last counter I would’ve expected to see alcohol behind, kinda like doing jager bombs at Rough ‘n Tumble or jello shots at Discovery Zone or something. Not that I’m complaining any because the logic is completely sound. Frazzled parents like myself need to calm their nerves, so what better way to do it than downing a brewski or two right then and there. Not to mention I could use something to wash down that salty cardboard they call pizza… Sold! But wow, bizarre huh? Maybe next time I’ll have my birthday party there too, like this guy:

But beware, there are downsides to adults (and I use the term loosely) in a kid’s environment. Maybe they should’ve had a drink or two, or maybe they pre-gamed beforehand I don’t know, but get a load of this! Chuck E. Cheese’s slogan has always been ‘Where a kid can be a kid‘ but maybe they should change it to ‘Where a kid can be a kid and adults can act like complete neanderthals.‘ Watch below:

Whether my safety is at risk or not, if this deejay ever misses his shift I will most likely be found you-know-where playing skee ball with a Bud in my hand. But, if I happen to be trying to throw myself up the skee ball ramp, cut me off would ya?