Stories about drunk drivers doing stupid things are pretty standard fare but in this case we got ourselves, what our MeeMaw would refer to as, a real humdinger.

See it seems an Indiana man and his wife or girlfriend or whatever, got hammered and decided that they needed to strap their 4 kids to the hood of their car and take them for a little joyride. Apparently they thought the kids would enjoy it since they were “only planning on traveling a short distance.” Three blocks to be exact.

The article states this all began in the parking lot of a liquor store so our guess is that the backseat and trunk were probably full of MGD and Carlo Rossi. Clearly in situations such as this the only logical thing to do is strap the excess passengers to the outside of the vehicle. The guy had a blood alcohol level of .17, more than twice Indiana’s legal limit for driving. The woman also appeared to be intoxicated. They were probably just chugging all the booze in the backseat to make room for the kids once they hit the highway.

The man was charged with neglect. We’ll go ahead and argue that charge is totally unwarranted because neglect would’ve been just setting the kids on the hood of the car and expecting them to hold on with their tiny little fingers but this concerned parent actually used a tow strap to secure the children in place. Tow straps are the new child safety seats.

There is no information about the children’s reaction to the ride. We’ll just assume it begin with an f-word and ended with “YEAH!”

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