11 Names New Yorkers Won’t See on The Jeffrey Epstein List Today

The whole world has been waiting on the Jeffrey Epstein list of 187 known friends and associates. The implications of the information contained could very well impact major global leaders and celebrities.  According to Ed Friedland, the District Executive for the Southern District of New York, that list could be released at any moment.

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There is much speculation on what names will appear.  I'd like to speculate on 11 names I expect to not appear on the list.

Super Mario

Sure, he is known for travelling to new lands and saving princesses, but he is one to travel with only his brother and a few select helpers. Ghislaine Maxwell is not one who could be called upon to save the Mushroom Kingdom.

Peter Griffin

Peter has been known to get into some whacky situations. He played pro football, reenacted Road House among many others. But I don't think any of his detours took him aboard Epstein's private jet.

C. Montgomery Burns

The man once tried to block the sun.  That's pretty bad, right? But even he would have nothing to do with Epstein and his Associates.

Gumby

Gumby would rather spend his time with Pokey than any world leaders who may be up to nefarious shenanigans. The G & J Blockheads however, one never knows.

Mickey Mouse

He changed his name from Steamboat Willie, but I do not think this was to protect him from prosecution. No, this mouse is all about the happiest place on earth for everyone. The only list he would be on is the Nice List from Uncle Scrooge.

Donatello

Far too into his machines to even think of hopping a plan with Maxwell or Epstein, Donatello is on the right side of the law and morals.

Bumblebee

His inability to communicate outside of radio frequencies would not make him ideal to take on Epstein's plane. He would need to be turned off and stowed the whole way.

Robocop

He is not putting up with anything.

Grimace

Grimace has brought joy to many over the years as the happy taste bud that makes McDonald's taste fantastic enough to be craved by almost everyone. He wouldn't put up with second rate airplane food.

Cookie Monster

He has cookies. That is good enough for him.

ZIggy

Such a loveable guy would never find himself in such sordid company. His lack of shoes may also present a problem receiving service at finer establishments.