Distractions have been a welcome necessity during the COVID-19 lockdown, so I entered a fantasy football league in Utica this year. After a recent sabbatical from the game, I had high hopes for a triumphant return to the fall pastime.

I've been playing in fantasy football leagues since 1984, when we used to have to wait until the newspaper came out Monday and Tuesday mornings, so we could apply the real statistics from that week's games to the players on our imaginary rosters.

Now fantasy football is big business and everything's online. The draft takes place, not at some guy's house, but with everyone gathered virtually on a website for the big event. Just like a Zoom Office Meeting, except a lot more efficient and effective.

My game of choice in 2020: An elimination league with a bunch of guys from the office. 17 teams begin the year, the team with the lowest point total each week is knocked out and his players are dispersed to other teams in the league.

After Week One, the first one eliminated was...me.

Thanks a lot, Saquon Barkley. My first choice in our draft (the #2 overall pick), the New York Giants running back had rushed for over 1,000 yards and scored 23 touchdowns in his first two years in the NFL. This year in Week One, he ran for a total of SIX YARDS.

SIX. For the entire game. That's pretty close to ZERO, which is the yardage I racked up this past week. I think I'm through with fantasy football for another 10 years. I wonder if there's still a shot to form a Fantasy Badminton League.

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