A Syracuse couple recently received a $1.2M grant from the State of New York to renovate the old South Presbyterian "Castle" Church, and I know just what they should do with it.

Ever see the 1996 comedy The Cable Guy, starring Jim Carrey and Matthew Broderick? That was my first introduction to the dinner-theater spectacle known as Medieval Times. At first, I thought the concept was fake. I would later come to learn that these establishments actually existed, although my family never had the good fortune to live near one.

Movieclips via YouTube
Movieclips via YouTube
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Fast forward to 2022, when I found myself on a weekend trip in Dallas with my special lady friend. We decided on a whim to finally check out what all the hullabaloo was about with Medieval Times-- as a plus, it was in walking distance of our hotel. Keep in mind that we are both childless adults.

Medieval Times
Medieval Times via Facebook
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I could never imagine enjoying it as much as I did. It was tremendous! From the time you arrive at the "drawbridge," to the workers that greet you in full medieval regalia, to the incredible choreography of the games, and the food you eat with your hands -- which was actually way better than you'd think -- I loved every damn second of the experience.

Except the outcome of the games... our Green Knight lost at the very end after the controversial decision to publicly denounce the queen. A move I thought to be politically risky. (I was right.)

Medieval Times via Facebook
Medieval Times via Facebook
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As a fan of professional wrestling, I couldn't help but appreciate the sheer ridiculousness of it.

When it was announced the old South Presbyterian Church in Syracuse had received a $1.2M grant from the State for renovations, installing a Medieval Times immediately came to mind. Now I know it's not as easy as just "deciding to install a Medieval Times," there's probably a deluge of red tape to go through. Medieval Times currently only has 10 locations, which makes it pretty exclusive. (The closest castle to our area is Lyndhurst, New Jersey, which is a little over 3.5 hours away.)

Google Maps
Google Maps
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But come on, just look at that "castle"! And think about how cool it would be to have Medieval Times this close to Utica. I would be there every other weekend.

The current plan is to turn it into some sort of event center, so like... yeah, why not? Groom those horses and let's do this!

The Green Knight shall be avenged!

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