We’ve Got the Look: Week One NFL Predictions
Okay ladies (and that includes you, Tom), we convened the impressive panel of Central New York football experts pictured above to give you a little guidance on which teams to pick during the 2018 National Football League season. We put the emphasis on little.
We won't give you statistics and numbers to bog you down, just the essentials, like which teams have the better-looking quarterbacks, whose uniforms are prettier, and, oh yeah, who will win each contest. Any complaints on the outcomes of these predictions, take it up with management--aka Beth. Here's Week 1:
-Philadelphia Eagles vs. Atlanta Falcons. The Birds may never recover from that loss to the Pats two Super Bowls ago and the The Eagles are still soaring after their championship shocker over Giselle Bündchen's hubby last year. Eagles.
-Houston Texans vs. New England Patriots. Why doesn't Tom Brady just retire and let Giselle be the bread-winner? Patriots.
-Buffalo Bills vs. Baltimore Ravens. Both teams force turnovers (not the pastries filled with apple goop), but Baltimore's D will pressure Buffalo's QB into more of them. Besides, Buffalo's Nathan Peterman sounds (and looks) more like CPA than QB. Ravens.
-Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Cleveland Browns. The Browns, this year's subjects of HBO's "Hard Knocks" show, are sentimental favorites. Unfortunately, Pittsburgh doesn't do sentimental. Steelers.
-Cincinnati Bengals vs. Indianapolis Colts. In the battle of Andys, Indy QB Andrew Luck will make Cincy QB Andy Dalton look more like actress Andi McDowell. Colts.
-Tennessee Titans vs. Miami Dolphins. The Day of the Dolphin was a 1973 Hollywood thriller. Today is not that day. Titans.
-Minnesota Vikings vs. San Francisco 49ers. SF QB Jimmy Garoppolo is WAY better-looking than Minnesota's Kirk Cousins, but Jimmy G will look U-G-L-Y against the Minnesota D. Vikings.
-New Orleans Saints vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Future Hall of Fame QB Drew Brees is downright adorable with that big mole on his face, just like another New Orleans icon, Aaron Neville. Saints.
-New York Giants vs. Jacksonville Jaguars. Former Syracuse coach Doug Marrone returns home to the New York metro area and leaves victorious as the better team wins a defensive battle. Jags.
-Arizona Cardinals vs. Washington Redskins. Ugghhh. Toss a coin. Cardskins. Redinals. Okay, Washington. (According to an anonymous White House official.)
-Carolina Panthers vs. Dallas Cowboys. Cam against Dak: the battle of QBs who sound like they were members of the Backstreet Boys , *NSYNC or One Direction. We're "Team Dak." Cowboys.
-Denver Broncos vs. Seattle Seahawks. The recreational marijuana laws in Colorado favor the visiting Seahawks, as Denver fans might forget there's a game--especially since it's scheduled to start at 4:20 on Sunday. Duuuude. Seahawks.
-Green Bay Packers vs. Chicago Bears. Aaron Rodgers has new incentive. No, not his $134 million contract extension, but coming home after every game to girlfriend Danica Patrick. Packers.
-L.A. Chargers vs. Kansas City Chiefs. When a new football team in Los Angeles plays its first home game there, will anyone care? Nope. Chiefs.
-L.A. Rams vs. Oakland Raiders. The city of Oakland is suing its team in an effort to block its move to Las Vegas in 2020. Oakland will lose the lawsuit AND their team. But Oakland won't lose this game in prime time Monday night under returning head coach Jon Gruden. Raiders.
-New York Jets vs. Detroit Lions. How does that chant go? J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets? Lions.