2018 was a weird year for me. Here's why:

January came. It started with the feeling of uncertainty, insecurity, like my feelings and words didn’t matter. As March hit, I was broken mentally. Nothing made sense. I felt like I was stuck in too many situations in my life and with that, it my heart hurt. So I left toxicity of my life at the time behind (between my professional life and personal life I was hanging from a loose string) and decided to start fresh.

The end of April was when I moved back to CNY to begin the new opportunity here in Utica and since then I haven’t once regretted the decisions I made to better myself.

Sometimes we think of others before we think of ourselves. But 2018 helped me realize I needed to figure out ME before I can move ahead in life, because with the amount of uncertainty life brings - the one thing you need to know is yourself. I've done a lot of exploring of my thoughts, my feelings and my opinions this past few months and I honest to god think I'm in the best place I've been in a very long time.
So here's a big THANK YOU to 2018 for providing me with a lesson to help me realize how important I am. For, after the realization of toxicity, bringing me home. For introducing me to new friendships, new beginnings, new love and new opportunity. I’ve definitely been saying the year was not the greatest. But while reflecting, I realize how truly grateful I am for the lessons I was given. Because now I know my worth and never again will I let myself get back in that dark place where I didn’t think I mattered. I may be young, but I know there are people who struggle with these kinds of things on a daily basis.

You could be in a toxic situation and I want you to know - it may take a lot for you, like it was for me, but getting out of that situation is going to be the best thing you ever do for yourself. Whether you're in an abusive relationship, you're uncomfortable at work, maybe you're just don't like where you're at in life and you're looking for a change. Do yourself a favor and work on it. Work on making it so you are in the same place I am now- happy with the present situation. If I hadn't taken the signs I got and ran for the hills, who knows how even more mentally broken I'd be. I'm feeling a lot of gratitude and feeling thankful as we head into on of the first few days of this year.

WHATEVER HAPPENED THIS PAST YEAR, BE THANKFUL FOR WHERE IT BROUGHT YOU. WHERE YOU ARE IS WHERE YOU'RE MEANT TO BE.

2019 - I hope you’re ready to help me get to the best place yet. I’m ready for you and all you have to offer. New friends. New experiences. New life as a whole. I'm ready to be the best version of me I've ever been. I'm working on a better me daily - better nutrition, better habits, better accountability and without my struggles last year I never would have been able to get to the place that allows me to be so open with all of you. Shout out to everyone who lets me do that.

You really didn't have to take the time to read this - if you're still here, thanks for sticking around. I'm just really excited for everything I know this year is going to bring me. And while I know there will be downs, there will be ups that are just as life changing and I couldn't ask for anything better.

We'll get my take on this, again, as we head into 2020. Who knows how that's going to be. Stay tuned.