Forget the 2012 Summer Olympics, what people really want to see are a bunch of hipsters throwing confetti and horned-rimmed glasses at each other while chugging down bottles of beer. That’s the 2012 Hipster Olympics for yah.

Saturday marked the second-annual (yes, second) 2012 Hipster Olympic games held in Berlin, an event that was as awesome as it was fun to mock. Instead of the traditional sporting events, like sprinting, swimming and weight lifting, (you know, ’cause obviously hipsters are not known for their ability to sprint, swim or lift heavy things) participants went for the alternative — confetti tossing, horned-rimmed glasses throwing and vinyl record spinning.

Team Jam FM took home the Golden Club Mate beer trophy at this year’s competition, but if you can believe it, there are other Hipster Olympics held in both New York and London that act as — in true hipster lingo — a “counterweight to gentrification.”

Take a look at some of the events in action below.

Skinny Jeans Tug-O-War

It’s exactly what it sounds like — two teams of hipsters pull opposite legs of a pair of skinny jeans until one side falters. Considering hipsters have little to no muscle on their bodies (which is true because how else are they able to actually wear skinny jeans?), this must have been a sight to behold first hand.

Vinyl Record Spinning Contest

Instead of the traditional baseball bat, hipsters had to run around a stack of Club Mate beer crates while keeping their fingers on a vinyl record sitting on top.

Confetti Toss

Now this is the one event that instantly brings to mind the phrase, “WTF.” The hipster competitors had to jump over sticks propped up on stacks of Club Mate crates and pass handfuls of confetti to teammates. Presumably, the team with the most confetti flakes still left in their hands at the end won the contest.

Bubble Tea Event

Because bubble tea is such an iconic hipster drink, contestants had to suck candy out of cups of bubble tea using just a straw.

Cloth Tote Sack Race

Rather than using potato sacks, hipsters had to use canvas tote bags — another iconic attribute of the hipster — to jump their way to the finish line.

And finally, the cherry on top of a hipster sundae…

Make Your Own Ironic Hipster Mustache Competition

One of our favorite contests out of the entire 2012 Hipster Olympics was by far the “Make Your Own Ironic Hipster Mustache” competition. Using whatever was available at the time, which looks to have been colored paper, ribbon and scotch tape, the competitors had to make the most fitting bit of facial hair they could muster. The results were… let’s just say, less than ironic.

Check out more photos from the 2012 Hipster Olympics below.