Alright, Alright get ready for another Matthew McConaughey Blockbuster Fails as we shine today’s spotlight on Tiptoes. Most people have never heard of this gem, but lucky for you, yours truly got to spend an hour and half watching this. That hour and a half I’ll never get back.

We stumbled on this movie when we had a satellite dish a few years back. It was a Saturday afternoon and we saw a movie with Matthew McConaughey titled Tiptoes. It came out back in 2003 and has Kate Beckinsale, Matthew McConaughey, and Gary Oldman in the movie. It’s rated a comedy and here’s the description according to

“Two brothers - a dwarf (Rolfe) and one normal-sized (Steve). When Steve's girlfriend Carol becomes pregnant, the pair are fearful that the baby will inherit the dwarfism gene. Matters are complicated still further when she finds herself falling in love with Rolfe.”

Let me describe a bigger picture of this blockbuster fail, with some help from MoviePhone helping me remember some of the story step by step:

Matthew McConaughey and Kate Beckinsale play Steven and Carol, a successful and happy couple. Steven has a big secret that Carol doesn’t know about him that could change the course of their relationship. Carol lived with Steven for over a year and dated him for even longer, but she never once met, or seen pictures of his family. How is that even possible to begin with? I’ve been in a few relationships and I met the family within the first few weeks. Carol is dating Steven for over a year and never ONCE asked to see or know about his family? To me that is just not believable.

So here’s the deal with Steven, he is the only average-sized person in a family of dwarfs, including his twin brother Rolfe (played by Gary Oldman). When Carol finds out she doesn’t accept the fact right away, she doesn’t accept Steven’s family. First off Carol Congratulations. Way for you to be there for your boyfriend. It was clearly something Steven struggled telling you because he was afraid you’d be upset so way to handle it like a proper girlfriend should. If you’re in love who cares about the family!

So as the movie moves on the couple finds out that Carol is pregnant and now Carol and Steven are forced to come to terms with the fact that the fetus she carries may be born a dwarf. Steven freaks out! He doesn’t want his child to suffer the same way Rolfe did as a child. Rolfe on the other hand helps Carol accept dwarfs and he’s just there for her. Rolfe was there for her in her time of need while Steven is too busy caring about his own needs.

Eventually the baby is born a baby boy who is a dwarf. Steven does not handle this well at all. He starts throwing stuff around and screaming. Eventually, he and Carol get into a massive fight, and they separate. At this point where does Carol go? She moves in with Rolfe. Makes sense right? Well they both grew very close together and where else could a newly mother go?

The end of this movie has to be the biggest curve ball I’ve ever seen, Spoilers ahead! So Rolfe and Carol become a couple, and Steven shows up at a cabin for both of them to talk. THAT was the end of the movie. I swear that’s how it went.

Most people have never heard of this movie, and you’re lucky is all I can say. This had to be the worst hour and a half of my life. The entire time we kept just hoping it would get better and sadly it never did. The sad part was it had a few big name actors! How could you read this script and think “Let’s do this”. I’m just confused. It’s just another Matthew McConaughey Blockbuster Fail. Here’s the trailer, enjoy.

At least he was good in…Contact….

(Photo by Matthew McConaughey/Facebook)