Times have changed, haven't they? In the era of TikTok sermons and "I'm Protecting My Peace", women are beginning to stop sticking around long after crappy significant others show themselves.

It's the knowing we have options for me.

via GIPHY

Self-care is way more than just making time to love up on oneself. Self-care is about getting clear about the people in our circle and how they do or do not show up for us--and make adjustments accordingly -that make sense for the kind of life we want to live.

Everybody who starts a journey with us, is not meant to continue on with us forever.

American inspirational speaker, lawyer, New Thought spiritual teacher, author, life coach, and television personality, Iyanla Vanzant (of The Oprah Winfrey Show and OWN fame) says that "people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime". In other words, some people are in our lives for a purpose, some people are with us for a specific time frame, and some people stay in our experience for the rest of our or their lives on Earth. Full stop.

Knowing when to let go of the "reason" and "season" folks in our lives is where the challenge comes from. Healthy relationships, while not easy, are nourishing to the soul. Un-healthy relationships on the other hand, take their toll on our overall quality of life. So how do you know when it's time to break up? Iyanla says this, about that-- according to this article she wrote for Oprah.com.

How to Know When to GO

1. You feel like you're fighting an uphill battle.

"If you're constantly struggling to feel good, it's probably time for a change."

2. You feel obligated, not excited, to stay.

"Staying because you think you have to isn't doing anyone any favors: If you don't want to be there, you won't be able to give of yourself in any way that's meaningful."

3. You're not valued.

"Don't allow yourself to be compared with others, don't allow yourself to be put down more often than you're lifted up, and do not, under any circumstances, accept less than you deserve. Those are clear exit signs."

4. Fear is holding you back.

"Staying merely out of habit or comfort costs you more opportunities than you know."

5. You're compromising yourself.

"The misery of feeling bad about who you are or how you're accommodating everyone except yourself will eventually pollute the very situation you're trying to preserve. Don't let that happen. Steel your courage, face the truth, and get moving."

Knowing when it's time to go is one thing. Knowing how to do it is something else entirely.

Stay tuned...