You hear about the fancy restaurant in New York that former gorgeous couple Sophia Vergara and Joe Manganiello went to weeks before their reported split? You didn't hear? It's a whole thing. You can read about it here.

2020 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Radhika Jones - Arrivals
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So anyway, there's this fancy 2 Michelin star restaurant in Tarrytown, NY called Blue Hill at Stone Barns. Some of its farm to table-esque cache is that one must make reservations one month in advance and one must shell out nearly $400 per person UP FRONT at the time of reservation, along with 22% "administration fee", plus drinks and taxes. Whell. The icing for this bougie cake (prayerfully dessert is included) is their BYOB policy.  According to their website:


Guests are welcome to bring special bottles of wine that are not represented on our wine list. The policy is limited to one 750ml bottle per two guests for a fee of $90 per bottle. Please find the wine list here.

That's a lot of grapes.

If you would like to dine in their version of "the nose-bleed seats", called "The Cafeteria", there, too, is a corking fee involved. According to their site:

Matched beverages are included in the price of all bookings for Community Table, with the option to select premium pairings or bottled cocktails. Guests are welcome to bring special bottles of wine to enjoy with their dinner. The policy is limited to two 750ml bottles per table for a fee of $35 per bottle.


I'm not usually the petty type. There's an old Georgian proverb from a North American prophet named T.I. that says:

It Ain't Trickin' If You Got It.

But in the age of viral social media pranks, I got to daydreaming about which un-stuffy wines to bring to Blue Hill at Stone Barns to have them "uncork" (really unscrew) for $90 to pair with a 2 Michelin Star din din --for the most hilarious effect-- if I won the lottery, of course.

Bear in mind that I do understand that Blue Hill at Stone Barns is probably amazing and the splendiferous sommeliers they employ are probably the most serious in the business and worth every penny of the $490 per person/bottle one invests to eat there. So this is just play--I'm not a heathen (allegedly).

If you do this before me--please--dress to the 11's and keep a straight face. Also --please, please-- film it for posterity and upload the vid for all to see. Thank you.

Here are 10 of the Least Fancy Wines to Bring to Blue Hill at Stone Barns for Dinner When You Win the Lottery:



Boone's Farm (any flavor) $4.39

attachment-Boone's Farm

Andre Cold Duck $5.97

envy mckee/canva

Blue Nun $9.49

attachment-Blue Nun

Night Train $5.28


Thunderbird $5


Flipflop $4.99


Barefoot $6.50


Yellowtail $6.50


Any label Boxed Wine $4.99

attachment-Boxed Wine

Honorable Mention: Ripple. The iconic label from the 1970's, but they don't make it anymore.

Which un-fancy wine would you bring to a fancy restaurant (bc you're so rich you simply do not care?) What will you wear????

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Of course Upstate is no slouch when it comes to wine, with the Finger Lakes wineries now grabbing many of the headlines at wine expos and competitions around the country. But local wine producers, even the very small ones, are starting to nudge into the pack of award-winning vinos from coast to coast

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