Programs I'm Offering When I Outbid Will to Buy Cazenovia College

There's a saying going round the interwebs-- "It's not over until Beyonce says it's over." Or some such. It's been some months since Cazenovia College put its for sale shingle up. There was some well-deserved silence after the graduation of the class of 2023, but it's not the end for Cazenovia College. Well, it is the end, but not the end, end. There are some updates, that you can read here. But also, relish in the idea that I have ideas about possibilities for the college formerly known as Cazenovia... keep reading.

Being new to CNY, I had never heard of Cazenovia College prior to the news breaking that it was for sale. What a stunningly gorgeous campus. My heart goes out to Cazenovia alumni and the surrounding community as you mourn the loss.

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Like my colleague from WOUR, I've been curious as to who would buy a 271-acre college campus?

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What would be the focus? What of their new mascot? Would it be like Hogwarts, but with 244 acres worth of horse stables and equestrian facilities?

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With that said, Will seems to think he has first dibs at buying the college formerly known as Cazenovia. He even went so far as to name it "Cazenovia College of Madness?"

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Whet?

Clearly, he hasn't truly seen any of these photos.

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Does this look like a place that should offer courses like "ADVANCED BIGFOOT HUNTING TECHNIQUES" and "PRO WRESTLING STUDIES"?

via GIPHY

Well. Maybe.

Prince Shake Head GIFfrom Prince GIFs

Since he asked which courses I'd like to see offered at whichever new college manifests out of the former Cazenovia, I decided to share some of my ideas. Let's start with the name.

I'm thinking Starfolk University has a lovely ring to it. If only because I've already made it up and it's already established as "the onliest on-air school for modern mystics" for some years now. The bricks and mortar iteration would surely be "wuwu" focused and offer classes that honor the utter gorgeousness that's already been established at the campus. For example:

Joan of Arc Divine Feminine Equestrian Studies

Photo by Pascal Bernardon on Unsplash

Meditating for Interdimensional Travel

Photo by Toni Reed on Unsplash

Metaphysical Screenwriting for Omniversal TV

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

To Be Continued...

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