I'll never live down my son's criticism of me, which I deserve, because I told him that someday we'll get a dog. This has not happened yet. I worry that I'll awake to barking at 2am because a car drove by. I'm concerned that my good work shoes will get chewed up. I fear cleaning up the dog's landmines left on the living room rug and I can't stand a begging dog at the dinner table.