6 Reasons to Hate Spring in Upstate New York
I know this might be a controversial stance, but spring in Upstate New York isn't all it's cracked up to be.
I mean, yes, we understand what spring is SUPPOSED to be like. We've seen the picture books. We've heard the songs, the rhymes, the cutesy sayings. But when you really sit there and consider what spring is ACTUALLY like in Upstate New York, you can't really come up with a whole lot of reasons why it's all that great.
Here are some reasons to hate spring in Upstate New York:
The spring is when we get to see all the ice and salt's handiwork. Four months of the water beneath the roads freezing and expanding and cracking the asphalt mean we can all look forward to dropping $1K on a new axle.
EVERLASTING MOUNDS OF DIRTY SNOW
You know how it goes. There are some patches of snow that just won't go away. And then we have to look at it. No thanks.
When the snow does finally melt, we're usually left with a reminder of just how gross people can be. Beer cans, fast food wrappers, coffee cups, all the things we used to self-medicate through the winter is now on full display on the side of the road.
QUESTIONABLE FASHION CHOICES
Booty shorts with winter boots, guys in t-shirts when it's clearly dipped below 40 degrees, a huge puffy coat with flip-flops... it's like we all forget how to dress ourselves when it's spring.
If you've got allergies, spring is nothing to rejoice. If you suffer from hay fever, you usually get a reprieve during winter, but plants springing back to life means your allergies will, too. And while we're on the subject of olfactory distress...
THE SMELL OF MANURE
As much as I appreciate what farmers do for this great nation, it doesn't mean I enjoy smelling the process.
WAKE ME WHEN IT'S SUMMER
Don't get me wrong, Upstate New York summers? Fantastic. The fall? Incredible. But spring? The only redeeming quality about an Upstate New York spring is that it's not an Upstate New York winter. That's about all you can say about it.
Sorry, spring lovers. Don't @ me.