Until We Meet Again: It’s The First Father’s Day Without You, Poppy

Earlier this year, my Poppy was admitted into the hospital after my family had concerns with his mannerisms and the way he was acting. That was the beginning of the end of our time with him.

He left us on February 8, 2021. I was there holding his hand while he took his last breath.

Father's Day is this Sunday, and if I'm being honest, I'm struggling. I'm typically someone who likes to stay busy and bury my emotions, but it's the first Father's Day without the most influential man in my life around - and that's hard. I can't hide how I feel.

It's the first Father's Day without you, Poppy, and I miss you a lot.

I miss the dorky smile you used to flash whenever you were happy. I miss the warmth of your hugs. I miss the way you always used to call randomly just to check on me.

I'm at peace with the fact you're with some of your favorite people. Your brothers, who I know you missed more than anything. Your animals, whom you cherished with your whole heart. Your parents. You have the chance to catch up with all of them, and I'm so happy after all these years you finally have the chance to do that. Say hi to Ginger for me. Marigold, Tom, Jerry, Rasha and Taz too.

We're all doing okay down here. There's some rough patches we're all going through, but we're managing. You don't need to worry about us. Being from the Broedel family, we're tough. We got this, and we're in it together. We learned that best from you.

Konrad and I got a dog - and you would LOVE him. His name is Kuzko. He's full of energy, spunk and love. Sometimes, he comforts me in ways that, strangely, make me feel like he has part of you in him. I wish you were around to meet him.

Work wise, things are going great. You knew I got promoted to the morning show, but now we're award winners. Dave and I won a New York State Broadcasters Association award for Best Morning Show. We've worked really, really hard to get to this point. I know you know that, and I know that you're so proud of everything I've accomplished. I wish you could be here to celebrate that with us.

Mom's got a big birthday coming up this year. She misses you like crazy, and can you blame her? She literally saw you every single day. I try to be there for her when you can tell she's really upset that you're gone - but sometimes, I just don't know the right words to say. I know this weekend is going to be very hard for her. Well, for all of us really. But again, I find comfort in knowing you're surrounded by love up there, too. Just like you would be down here.

The world is slowly starting to open back up. The pandemic has really been challenging for everyone.

I'm sorry that we couldn't be in the hospital with you as much as we had wanted to. Trust me, I would have been there every single day, holding your hand, helping you understand what the doctors and nurses were saying. It was nearly impossible for us to do that because of the regulations the hospital had surrounding the virus. I'm resentful, but at the same time, understanding. I hope you aren't mad at us for that, it's something I worry about every day. I don't think you would be, but I can't help but wonder. We tried so hard to do what we could.

Do you remember when I was a kid and you would put me down for nap time? You had all your cassette tapes on a shelf in your room at the farmhouse, and each day, you'd select a tape to play while I napped. Honestly, I think that's part of the reason I'm in the career path I'm in. You helped me love music from a young age. I don't think you realize that, but as time has gone on, I noticed. There was a song you used to play for me all the time. Occasionally. you'd sing along to it to put me to sleep. I remember it vividly.

Since you left us, I haven't been able to stop listening to this song. Any time I think of you, I put it on, and it automatically feels like you're here, sitting next to me, singing along.

Thank you for that. You don't know how badly I need that feeling some days.

I love you so much. Until we meet again,

Your Dolly.