I’ve compiled a list of my top three least favorite Halloween “treats” as seen through the eyes of the twelve year old me.

1.    An Apple

Seriously! C’mon? Really?!  This must be a trick! How many times have you received this not so welcome supposed treat?  I’ve always compared getting an apple on Halloween to receiving socks on Christmas. Blah! I’m not sure why these people even bother answering the door. The next time I see someone walking to the door with this forbidden fruit in their hand on Halloween, I’m playing Ding, Dong, Ditch!

2.    A Nickel

Sorry pops this button size piece of metal can’t even buy me a couple tootsie rolls anymore. If you want to give me money, make it rain man!  Dollar, dollar bills ya’ll! Please for the sake of my dignity and my piggy bank, use good Cents!

3.    Popcorn Ball

You do know that these sticky, gooey thingies never ever actually get eaten right?!  First off, why in the world would I want to eat something made from the hands of a complete stranger? Secondly, the little red ribbon that’s attached doesn’t make it any more appealing. However, if you decide to give me one know that it will only be used as smearing ammunition for later in the night. Oh, and the little red ribbon doubles as dental floss. I’ll use it to dislodge the remnants of the real candy that I received from my neighbors who actually love me.