Open Letter to Taco Bell About Their New Wine

Dear Taco Bell,

I have loved you for years. I've been to your drive-thrus so often, my car has been able to almost drive ITSELF to various locations in Utica, Syracuse, Salt Lake City, Boston, Albany, Ft Lauderdale, Buffalo, Hartford and other places I have lived and visited.

I always find a way to locate a Taco Bell. And now there's a new reason to go to the Bell: Your new custom wine, called "Jalapeño Noir," has debuted in Canada. Allegedly with "notes of wild strawberry, cherry, and beetroot." Fancy. And you say it pairs well with your new Toasted Cheesy Chalupa and perhaps many other Taco Bell favorites.

Here's my problem: MY favorite Taco Bell item has been discontinued. You took away my 7-Layer Burrito.

Taco Bell wine in, 7-Layer Burrito out. It's not a fair trade. 7-Layers were my go-to selection. I usually would order two at a time. Now, I don't EAT at Taco Bell any more, but maybe I'll try your wine, just to drown my sorrows over the loss of my 7-Layers.

Apparently you've been selling bottles on the Taco Bell Canada website for about $19 American. However, it doesn't sound like you're planning to sell them in the U.S. anytime soon. So if I want a bottle, I guess I'll have to drop lots of dollars on eBay.

Come on, Taco Bell. Try a little harder. Por favor.