7 Non-Traditional Ways to Get Your Family to Do Housework
Do you struggle with getting members of your family to do their fair share of household duties, tasks and chores? Have you resolved to let your home space look like a tornado ran through it until you can muster enough energy on a Saturday at 10pm when the lot of your involuntary housemates (read: children, partner, spouse) have gone to bed -- to clean? Are you feeling as windswept as your living room looks? Are you tired of incessantly asking, making chore lists, ignoring messes and whatnot?
Well then. It's time to act.
It's time to get creative about getting your house sparkling clean without repeating yourself, writing lists that are ultimately ignored, or making lengthy speeches at family meetings. If you've tried everything else to get your family to clean the house without you being the house manager about it, with the help of these 7 creative techniques, get ready to enjoy a home so clean, you won't mind it when your mother-in-law drops in for an unannounced visit. Maybe.
1. Change the Wifi Password, so it can only be accessed when the house is Spotless
This is an entry option that adds some annoyance in the beginning bc you'll likely hear-- "Mom!!! The Wifi doesn't Work!" To that you can simply say-- "it will work when the house looks like sane people live here..."
2. Go On Strike:
Simply stop doing stuff. Let the house look as bad as it can possibly look for as long as you can stand it. Wait. You may already be doing this and it's not working. We'll regroup around this one later...
3. Leave Treats Around the House That Can Only Be Accessed When A Chore is Complete:
Treats seem to work for pets. It may work for small people. I doubt it, but it's worth a try.
4. Make Housekeeping Like the Hunger Games:
Imagine it. You gather the tweens and teens on a Saturday morning before breakfast. Make it extra early for effect. Fishbowl in one hand, karaoke mic in the other -you pick out a name and a chore. Tell the children that food doth come when the chores is done. Or some other cryptic phrasing. Then do a weird evil laugh--Mwuhhhhwwhhhaahaahaa. Then say the thing-- "May the Housework Be Always in Your Favor".
5. Pretend There's An Angry Grandmother Ghost:
Gammys' get things done don't they? If the children think there's an annoyed Grandma who came back from the grave, specifically to see to it the house is clean, they may be motivated enough to log off of Apex or Fortnite long enough to clean their room. Logistically, this one is the most complicated. How does one fake a ghost? What if the children are more intrigued by the fake ghost than inspired to clean up for it? What if you're found out? If you happen to have any ideas of how to make this idea work, I'm all ears.
6. Move & Leave Them to Fend for Themselves Like Lord of the Flies
Moving may not be the easiest of the available options, particularly if one has smaller children who truly cannot fend for themselves. Then of course, there are agencies in place that frown upon such things. Fudge. Maybe instead of actually moving, you can assign your children to read Lord of the Flies and Write a 10-page paper about how they would fare in a world where mom wasn't around to pick up after them. The problem with this one is the added work of reading said papers. Gah!
7. Hire A Housekeeper with Their Allowance:
You may be thinking this is harsh, but work is work. If they don't want to do it and you don't want to or don't have time to do it-- next time they ask for money for something, joyfully tell them, "yes! But-- sorry. Since the housekeeper is coming this week, cause the house looks like trash"-- you're giving what they asked for to whomever is coming to clean instead. My guess is they'll either pick up a broom and mop themselves or they can stay mad.
What would you add to this list? By the by, this is satire. K.
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