My Top 5 Gym Pet Peeves
Running outdoors is one of my passions but recently I was sidelined due to a foot injury. I said to myself “what am I to do? I’m going to gain like 900 pounds if I’m unable to jog!” I told one of my buddies about my plight and he recommended trying a different exercise while on injured reserve. He suggested joining the gym and riding the elliptical or exercise bike. I took his advice and signed up. Here’s where my five gym pet peeves were born.
1. Snapping Sammy
Snapping Sammy is the person exercising next to you who perpetually snaps their chewing gum. Usually they’re oblivious to the fact that they’re annoying the heck out of you because they’ve got music screaming into their ears at 700 hundred decibels. Let’s hope Sammy is at least streaming the Radio Pup app and Light 98.7!
2. Sloppy Steven
Sloppy Steven is that dude or dudette who refuses to wipe their sweat off the equipment because they’re too busy looking at themselves in the mirror.
3. Grunting Gregory
Grunting Gregory is the big buff guy who wants to flaunt his masculinity so he insists on making strange and obnoxious noises with each repetition he does. He thinks he impresses others all the while most are wishing this guy had a muzzle and a casket for his skull cap, gold chains, and shredded tank top.
4. Chatty Chad
Chatty Chad is that person who thinks you want to hear all about their root canal, Utica’s parking issues, a pets bad breath, a broken nail, and the price of tea in China. Chatty Chad has no problem offering you an unwanted and unwarranted free education on Ebola, Obama, and Oprah. He’s also a sports know it all who brags about his team being number one even though they haven’t won a game since Lincoln.
5. Corduroy Millie
Corduroy Millie is that person who dresses like its 17 degrees inside the gym. They’ve got more layers than that gigantic piece of chocolate cake they gobbled down that motivated them to join in the first place. I get it. I get it…You wear layers to sweat and hopefully lose weight faster but let’s face it just looks ridiculous!
Oh how I can't wait to get back to running the rolling hills of New Hartford!